I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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