It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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