do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize