God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
