Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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