All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
