Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize