he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
