Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
