He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
