Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
