You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
