Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
