O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
