I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize