I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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