This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
