I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize