you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
