I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
