WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
