I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize