i think my tv is drunk
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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