If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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