Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
where are you?
Hypothermia
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
