found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
