I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
