white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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