Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
