once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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