The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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