Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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