what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
