Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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