Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
