dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Bring me that man meat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
