She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
