Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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