I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
