even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
