i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
