i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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