apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
