I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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