Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I faked an abortion last night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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