we have officially lost it.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
