he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
