There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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