thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
