just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
