STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
