I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can't just leave with hair like that
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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