took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
