I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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