I'm really into asian looking animals
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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