How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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