WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize