we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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